Women should be on top!

Wait for it ... of our list.

I coach many women who put themselves after the family pet on their list. When I ask where do you come on the list it is always after the dog or cat or even rabbit! These are intelligent women often high on the management scale who when they go home become second class citizens. Some are women holding families together and studying for top class degrees.

I impress on my clients that you have to be top of your game to be the best for the others in your life. Isn’t this common sense? It is to me – although I have to say I have taken some time to realise I need to be top, I do realise it is not a natural instinct for us to put ourselves first.

One of the main reasons we do not put ourselves top is we are taught by our Mum’s that we should always put others before ourselves. That is how they were taught. I think many religious books teach the same but I still say if you are not at the top of your game being the best that you can be how can you possibly do your best for others? We have to understand and value who and what we are.

OK so how do we start to change this mind set?

Small things, repeated, make big changes.

Dishing out the dinner egg and chips (I eat high on the hog!) would you always give yourself the broken egg? Try asking “who want the broken egg?” Simple small things will change how you think about where you come on the list. To be fair I bet you don’t break an egg very often so it is no real hardship for someone else to have it now and again.


Other examples:
If you work - who helps you with the housework, washing and ironing? Are you a martyr to the cause? Do your children help? OK if they are 2 and 4 there is not much they can do but they can tidy – start them young it won’t seem like a chore it will seem like a game.

Do you cook every night? Can anyone else in the house cook? How about take away night to give you a break? I had a friend with 2 young sons 12 and 14 and a hard working hubby – she shared out the cooking nightly one of them had to take charge and produce a meal. It proved a lot of fun and she found out her eldest could cook and is now studying to be a chef. You never know what may come out of trying something to help you.


These are all household examples but I think it is the place to start you realising how important you are. It is only when you pull back that the household appreciates what you do – as long as you keep doing it they will let you.

Take time out plan your climb to the top of your list and let me know how you get on.

If you need help contact me via: http://www.carolblack4life.co.uk/